About This Site
I got tired of scrolling through someone's divorce story to find out how long to cook rice.
You know what I'm talking about. You search for "how to make scrambled eggs" and the first result is a 3,000-word essay about how the author's grandmother used to make eggs on Sunday mornings while telling stories about the old country, and how those eggs remind her of simpler times, and how she hopes her kids will one day make eggs for their kids and continue the tradition.
Meanwhile, you're standing in your kitchen at 7 AM, spatula in hand, eggs getting cold, scrolling past 47 ads and a popup asking you to subscribe to a newsletter, desperately trying to find out if you're supposed to add milk or not.
This site exists because food blogs have lost the plot.
We're here to give you recipes. Just recipes. With a side of attitude because, honestly, if you need a recipe for grilled cheese, we're going to have some words about it.
The Rules
Rule #1: No life stories. I don't care what your husband Brad thinks about this recipe. Brad can get his own website.
Rule #2: Jump to Recipe buttons that actually work. Because we're not savages.
Rule #3: Realistic prep times. "5-minute dinner" means 5 minutes, not 5 minutes plus 45 minutes of prep you conveniently forgot to mention.
Rule #4: Actual ingredient measurements. "Season to taste" is fine for salt, but if you tell me to add "some" chicken broth, I'm going to need a number.
Rule #5: Casual swearing. Because sometimes food is frustrating, and pretending otherwise is ridiculous.
About the Attitude
Yes, the tone here is... let's call it "pointed." But here's the thing: I actually want you to succeed in the kitchen. The snark is just packaging. Underneath it all, these are real recipes that actually work, written by someone who has screwed up enough dinners to know what actually matters.
So if I sound annoyed that you're looking up how to boil water, it's not because I think you're dumb. It's because I believe you're capable of more than you think, and sometimes you just need someone to tell you to stop overthinking it and just cook the damn food.
Now Go Make Something
Seriously. Close this tab. Open a recipe. Cook something. Even if it's bad, it's better than whatever you were going to order from DoorDash.