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Chicken Parm

This is chicken parm. Real chicken parm. With Italian seasoned bread crumbs like your grandmother used—not that Panko bullshit that every "elevated" recipe tries to push on you. Panko is for when you want something light and airy. Chicken parm is not supposed to be light and airy. It's supposed to be a crispy, cheesy, carb-loaded Italian-American hug. Know the difference.

Prep: 15 min Cook: 25 min Serves: 4 Difficulty: Easy-Medium

Ingredients

For Serving (Optional But Correct)

Instructions

  1. Preheat your oven to 450°F. You'll need it later for the cheese situation.
  2. Deal with the chicken. Take each breast and slice it in half horizontally—like you're filleting a fish, but it's chicken and you're just making it thinner. You want each piece to be about ½ inch thick so it cooks evenly and quickly. If you're having trouble visualizing this: lay your hand flat on top of the breast to hold it steady, then slice through the middle parallel to the cutting board. Congratulations, one thick breast is now two thin cutlets. Some people call this butterflying. Some people pound it with a mallet. I'm telling you to slice it because it's faster and you don't need to clean meat goo off your ceiling.
  3. Set up your breading station. This is an assembly line situation, and the order matters for efficiency and for not making a complete disaster of your kitchen. Left to right: chicken → plate of flour → bowl of beaten eggs → plate of bread crumbs → your frying pan. If you're left-handed, reverse it. The point is: work in one direction so you're not dripping egg all over everything.
  4. Bread the chicken. One piece at a time: dredge in flour (shake off excess), dip in egg (coat thoroughly), press into bread crumbs (both sides, really pack it on). Place it in the pan. Repeat with remaining chicken. Your hands WILL get coated in a disgusting paste of flour, egg, and bread crumbs. This is normal. When it gets too thick to function, wash your hands. DO NOT EAT THE BATTER OFF YOUR FINGERS UNLESS YOU WANT SALMONELLA. I know it's tempting. It's raw egg. Stop it.
  5. Fry the chicken. Your pan should have about ¼ inch of oil, heated over medium-high heat. The oil is ready when you flick a bread crumb in and it sizzles immediately. Cook the chicken until golden brown on the bottom, about 3-4 minutes, then flip and do the other side. You're looking for deep golden brown and an internal temp of 165°F. If you have more than 3-4 cutlets, you'll need to work in batches. Don't crowd the pan or the temperature drops and everything gets soggy instead of crispy.
  6. Watch your oil. If the oil starts looking dark and burnt with floaty bits of charred breading, it's time to change it. Carefully pour the old oil into a heat-safe bowl to cool (NOT down the drain, you'll destroy your plumbing), wipe out the pan, and add fresh oil. This takes an extra minute but prevents your chicken from tasting like a burnt mistake.
  7. Prep the sheet pan. Line a sheet pan with aluminum foil. Spray it with cooking spray. This step is not optional unless you want your beautiful breading to rip off and stick to the foil when you try to remove it. Don't be that person.
  8. Add the cheese. Transfer your fried cutlets to the prepared sheet pan. Cover each piece generously with shredded Parmesan. Don't be shy. More cheese is more better.
  9. Bake until glorious. Put the pan in the oven for 5-7 minutes until the Parmesan is fully melted and starting to get golden and crispy on the edges. Keep an eye on it—the line between "perfectly crispy" and "burnt cheese" is thin.
  10. Eat the crispy bits. When you pull the pan out, there will inevitably be cheese on the foil from where you definitely hit the chicken perfectly and it just... slid off somehow. Sure. Anyway, this is chef's tax. Shove it in your mouth immediately. You've earned it.
  11. Serve. Plate with spaghetti and red sauce. Add garlic bread. Pretend you're in a red-checkered-tablecloth Italian restaurant. Accept compliments. You did good.

Notes

  • On the "slicing in half" thing: Yes, I know "lengthwise" isn't technically the right word for this cut. You're slicing horizontally through the thickness. But if I said "slice it horizontally" some of you would cut it into left and right halves, and then where would we be? Nowhere good. Just make the chicken thinner.
  • No mozzarella? This is parmesan-only chicken parm. If you want to add mozzarella, go ahead. It's your kitchen. But this version lets the crispy parm shine, and I stand by it.

Stuff You'll Need

A sharp knife for the chicken surgery. A large skillet for frying. Three shallow dishes (plates work fine) for your breading station. A sheet pan. Aluminum foil. Cooking spray. Paper towels for draining if you're fancy. A meat thermometer if you don't trust yourself.